Emmy Talk And Kimmel's ''Hit 'Em With The Hein.'' 09/19/16. Robin said she can't wait to talk to whoever that was. Howard played a clip of Marfan Mike announcing Norm so it was a bit clearer. Howard said he likes David but David is mad at him or some reason. He said he's in there talking 4 hours a day and he's not sure what he said. Howard said maybe that's what Norm should have done for HBO or something. Howard said Norm is so good at it and he has a point of view. Norm said they had a guy named George Coe on early on and he hoped he'd beaten him out but no. Howard asked if he got caught up in the drug thing with Sam. Norm said he had that scream thing he did and it was shocking to people. He said when someone asked him to do this book he thought it could be the best ever. Norm said when you look at your life you wonder what you do in your life. He said if it goes well he should be out in 5 or 6 days and if it goes badly he'll be out in 20 minutes. Norm said Howard is into painting and photography and chess. Howard asked Norm if he works really hard at his job or does it come easy. He said it's actually someone who is capable but they don't push for it. Norm said what he found was that if he had been at home he would have found it hilarious but he was the guy and it wasn't.

am Show opening bits and songs included: A Jerky Boys phony phone call played over a phony phone call to the Community Cop show that Sal and Richard did, a JD song parody by Daniel Mendelson, Frank Sinatra Jr. Howard asked why some Irish guys are Macdonald and some are Mc Donald. Gary said Will just told him Mac is sometimes Scottish and Mc is Irish. He said he thought they were past this ''Stars of Satellite Radio'' kind of thing. He said he has had to drag Sal off stage by his ankles in the past. He said as soon as he got on stage he was saying no one cares about him or his act. He said he knows the real Sal and he's not like that. Howard thanked them for fucking him over and embarrassing him again. He said there were 3 people who never appeared on the show who beat him out. He said they were on an airplane once and Captain Johnson was saying something. '' Norm said he would walk the rooms in the clubs and he'd ask who was on a date or engaged. Norm said it was supposed to be a year but it took 4. Rodney said he told him he takes too many liberties with the audience. Norm said he likes Backgammon and he was a gambler. He said if the other guest was Jeffrey Tambour was on he'd introduce him and say the real reason they were there was for Norm Macdonald. He said Louie Anderson told him once that when you go on the Letterman show that everyone is in on the joke. Norm said when he wrote the book he was asked for some pictures from his Saturday Night Live days and he realized he never took any.

performing ''Stink Finger'' for the ''Son of the Beach'' TV series, a ''Da Ali G Show'' clip where Bruno interviews rednecks about gay people, Collective Soul performing ''The World I Know'' in the Howard Stern Show studio. Howard played a Leon Spinks clip announcing who is on the show today. Howard said he thought Jimmy Kimmel did a very good job with the Emmys last night. am After the break Howard came right back and took a call from Melrose Larry Green who said they're looking for this guy from New Jersey who did the bombing and he looks like a cross of Benjy, Gary and Hanzi. Howard said that they're asking anyone who sees him to call. Howard said it would be so great if they found him. Howard said he put a stop to the Ronnie's Block Party thing but now they have this ''Stars of Satellite Radio'' show out there. He said Sal asked him to mediate this Q and A thing. Howard asked if he has such a miserable life that he has to get wasted. Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who said they can't condemn these guys for doing that. Howard made up a story about Paul Shaffer going out and telling a woman to put her pussy lips next to her salad. Howard asked if Sal got that stuff for his shakes from a doctor. He said Sam would go up and do his scream when he'd tell them not to get married. Norm said with Rodney he talked funny, he acted funny and he looked funny. Howard asked Norm if he has put that thought into his act and if he's being himself or a character on stage. He said they're all in on the joke and you're the joke. Howard asked if Letterman talked to him after that. He said Bob Dylan was on the show the next night and those three days were very emotional for him. Howard said Dave said there may be people as funny as Norm but he doesn't know any funnier. He said at the time it wasn't all that special or something. Norm said that he was told to check his Wikipedia one time and someone had written that he was dead. Norm said it shakes you because you understand that it will be those words.

Howard said Jimmy sent it to him and he thought it was funny as hell. Howard said the dresses on the Emmys seem to be showing titty even if they don't have huge tits. Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Jackie the Joke Man impression. He got back into his Jackie impression and asked if Robin has the napkin he wrote jokes on. Larry said the guy looks just like Hanzi, Benjy and Baba Booey. He said he got upset that Bill Bratten is gone because he had a good handle on all of this. Howard said they have to stop with the group thing. Howard said Sal got so drunk you know something is wrong in his life. He said his wife told the bartender to serve him water. He said he thinks things are going well and then he has a projected image in his head that makes it seem that things aren't going well. Howard said that they're hearing ''Beaten Man Sal'' now. Howard asked if Ronnie dragged out him to say ''cunt'' on stage. Howard said that's really the reason they hired him. Howard said he has to pull the tape of Ronnie yelling at JD to say the word. Norm said he started with a guy named Mark Breslin who owns a lot of clubs in Canada. He said before people were told he was great they didn't know how great he was. Howard said he was the last stand up to perform on Dave's show. Norm said he was invited to have dinner with him and so forth. Howard said Adam Sandler told Jim Downey at Saturday Night Live to check out his set on Letterman and that got him an audition for Saturday Night Live. Norm said he's not a psychiatrist but he thinks that maybe he views the money he makes as unearned money. Norm said he likes reading now instead of gambling.

He said he liked the masturbation joke about Game of Thrones. Robin said she didn't get home to see the beginning. Howard said he can't complain about the size of a woman's tits if he has a small dick. He talked about how much food Benjy eats during the morning. Howard asked Robin if she went out with Jackie to make amends. She said she has learned something about herself and she's making up with people. Larry said Howard was brilliant in the last couple of shows he did. Howard said he was like Sam Kinison without the jokes. Howard said Sal started drinking after the first show. Howard said he was so trashed he wasn't able to stand up. He said he takes medication and he took extra stuff to help with his shaking. He said he might have a graphic image of his child being hurt or something like that. Shuli said Sal was about to swan dive into a table there and he catches him. Howard took a call from a woman who was at the show. JD said he did and he didn't say it so Ronnie told him to just say it. Howard said he wishes he had the letter that he sent to him to get the job. Howard said if he ever hears about them doing another show like this he's going to throw them all out. Howard said Ronnie has a new routine where JD says ''snatch.'' Robin said they'll open with Cunt and close with Snatch. He said if Sam could make everyone walk out he'd give him a bonus. He said that he'd be invited and he didn't know what he would do when it was his turn to talk. Howard said Steve Martin invites him out and he's not sure how he's going to be interesting to the guy. Howard said with the way Norm is he's not really overly emotional. Norm said he had to fly out to do the audition and he asked if they were going to pay for the flight home because he knew he wouldn't make it. He said stand up is the worst for someone to practice being a performer. He said that he worked for $3.65 and hour selling stuff and now he gets paid a lot to be Colonel Sanders and that's not earned money. Howard said Norm says in his book that when he got to Saturday Night Live he was quite infatuated with Sarah Silverman. He said she was a very young girl and very beautiful.

He said he told Jimmy he liked that and that's all he contributed to it. She figured she would watch it later but she probably won't. Howard said Julia Louis Dreyfus talked about how her dad died on Friday. Howard played a clip of Tambour talking about how there is no ''best'' actor. Howard said Sal was so drunk he didn't recognize the voice. Howard played a clip of Sal slurring his words and he was barely able to get the words out. Gary said Shuli knew Sal was drunk and he had to pad for him and then he shit all over him when he did that. Howard said he has begged them not to do these shows but they still organize them. Sal said he had 2 drinks on the way to the stage in the first show. He said he's never been in that state of mind before. Howard asked if his mind commands him to do something. She said she was in the front row and Sal told her to put her pussy lips next to the lettuce. The caller, Helen, said she's not sure what that meant. He said he turns into a maniac when he's with the group. Howard said people say they still love him in spite of what Sal did. Shuli said there are people who try to get Sal to bad mouth Gary but he wouldn't do it. He asked if Ronnie was out there saying ''Let's fuck some whores! He said Ronnie wanted to make t-shirts with the phrase on it. Howard said that you never saw Letterman's people do anything like this. Norm said he was at the Aspen comedy festival once and he hates those things. He said one of the funniest movies is a Quentin Tarantino movie. Norm said he was invited to hang out with Steve Martin, Martin Short and Chevy Chase. Howard said on his final Letterman he said some heart felt things and he was moved to tears. He said back in the old days they had actors on shows. Howard said Norm talks about his time at Saturday Night Live in his book. Howard said he did as a kid and he vowed never to do it again after he stole a tie tack from Macy's. Howard asked about playing Sanders and what happened to that. Howard said he wasn't able to get a date with her but Dave Attell was.

Robin said she thought he was out of line with the statements after the In Memorium. Howard said people thought Richard Dreyfus had died but he's not her father. Howard said she must have gotten a lot of money for that. He was asking for Transgender people to get more work. Howard said h heard from Jackie and he said he's not sure where he stands with him. He said he's not sure why he doesn't know where he stands with him. He said if he had 5 free minutes that's what he'd do. Howard said he doesn't like these guys subjecting an audience to this kind of stuff. Howard said he has a clip of Sal talking about his mental illness. Sal said he tries to talk himself out of the image but it won't go away. She said that she's a big fan and all of the other guys were wonderful and she was really disappointed in Sal. Howard said Ronnie's bit was getting JD to say the word ''cunt'' on stage. Howard said he didn't know he felt that way about Letterman. He said he vowed to never do it again and his friends got caught the next time they did it. Norm said he loves KFC and there are some people who know he played him and wonder why he turned it down. Norm said they got a little buzz about it and they were going to change every 6 months. Howard said Dave was a writer on Saturday Night Live. Norm said he did say he'd take her out to eat and she'd pay for none of it and he'd take her to bed later.

She said he said it was a very good one and that they can do better next year if they really work at it next year. Howard said Jimmy gave out the biggest ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' ever. Jason said he woke up to it this morning and he loves it. Jason said one of the reasons it became so big is because Jon hates it so much. Howard read an article about the shout out where they explained it. He said he wouldn't be unhappy to be the last Cisgender to play a transgender. Howard said Sarah Paulson won an Emmy for playing Marcia Clark. Howard said he wrote him back and said he considers him a friend. Howard said he would like to have dinner with his co-workers. He said he hasn't gone to dinner with Steve Nowicki or Human Newman yet. He said things didn't work out so their time is over. Howard said he has nothing to do with it but it reflects on him in some way. Howard played that and Sal said he suffers from pure OCD. Howard asked if it has anything to do with him saying that he has OCD. She said she knows that he doesn't represent Howard but she was mortified. Howard said he thought they were done with this bullshit. Shuli said that was ''twat lips.'' Howard asked Sal where he was going with that. Shuli said she was eating so he made the connection somehow. Howard played a clip of Sal telling the woman to stick her twat lips in the salad and give it to him. Norm said he had a friend who stole a candy bar so he stole a fountain pen. He said said he got home after his friend got beaten up and his mom and dad were sitting there. Norm said he told him he could prove he didn't do it and he'd ask the woman if he did it. Norm said he did it just because it was free money. Howard asked if Darrell had to hand the outfit over to him. Norm said that Sarah was an upcoming girl and Dave was the guy. Norm said he forgot that Sarah made the same money as he did on the show.

Robin said that means more big name people will die. Howard said Sarah Silverman did a Baba Booey but Jimmy did the big one on the Emmys. Howard played a clip of Jimmy getting in the line toward the end of the show. Jon said he hates this part of Jason's personality. Howard read about how they came up with the phrase and how it was used to annoy Jon. Howard played a new Baba Booey song parody and said he didn't see the People Vs. Howard said that everyone says he has to see that and the documentary. Howard said he saw the Khaleesi did a bit with Jimmy. Howard said it means that you're a guy who identifies as a guy. Robin read about it and said she's never heard that term before. Howard said she thanked a lesbian lover at the Emmys. Howard said her whole tit was almost hanging out there last night. Howard said the highlight was Jimmy yelling out ''Hit 'em with the Hein! Howard said it's a Mob show but it's the English mob. The caller said he also does a Jackie the Joke Man impression. Howard said he complained that they never get together for dinner. Benjy asked if Howard considers them as friends at work. He said he would consider everyone at work a friend. He said he looks over and sees him eating all the time. Howard said when they run into each other he'll say hi and ask what's up. Howard said he's still friend with the guy even though they haven't worked together for 15 years or so. Howard played another clip of Sal talking over some of the other guys. He said he has things coming to his mind that make him unhappy. Howard asked if he's ever been diagnosed by a professional. Howard said he may have ''pure DOPE.'' Sal said he can't leave his car with an unfinished lyric in a song. Shuli said he's doing solo shows and not doing this stuff. He said the stars of satellite radio can't handle themselves. He asked if they ask what the key is to a horrible marriage. He said they went back to the store and asked the lady and she said that she can't remember everything that happens so that's what he was looking for her to say. Norm asked if he ever had his parents not believe him when he was telling the truth. Howard said he remembers all of that so he's at therapy all the time over that. He said that Darrell Hammond was doing it and he felt bad about doing it after he did it. He said minus the 30 percent that they took off for her being a girl.

Howard said the odd thing is that Jon Hein thanked Jimmy for it over Twitter. Howard said Jon feels when Jimmy did it he meant it well but when Jason does it he means to make fun of him. Jon came in and said it is the intent that matters. He said he doesn't like this side of him but there are other sides he does like. Jason said he likes how Jon isn't going off on Nik about this. Jon said to this asshole on the phone who said he's a star fucker. Howard said that Robin is one because she's a woman who identifies as a woman. '' Howard played another song parody about the phrase. Howard said they have a big show coming up today with Norm Macdonald. am Howard took a call from a guy who said he turned him on to some fantastic shows on Netflix. Howard said he and Fred have been working together for over 30 years and they're friends but they don't get together socially. Howard said he took Ralph out to dinner the other night. Howard said there are some people he won't say a word to but Jackie isn't one of them. He was talking about floppy tits and a French fry girl. Howard said he has a clip of Sal yelling about twat. He said that he can't use the top lid in a coffee cup. Howard asked Sal about the shakes and the Propanonal he takes. Howard said the guys say he had at least 4 shots that night. Howard asked Norm about gambling and how he's lost everything. He said he just goes to a diner to get a cup of coffee and you just drink it and you're clean. Howard said Norm had to figure out which group of people at Saturday Night Live to go in with.

He said Jimmy meant it in a nice way and Jason doesn't. Howard said he knows he doesn't like that he started it. He said Jon sends him texts and things and they're off the chart. '' Jason said a week ago Jon said if he could make it disappear by snapping his fingers he would. He said he wrote to Jimmy because he was saying thanks. He said the idea is that all headphones will have that plug in it. Howard said Sarah Paulson plays Marcia Clark but she's not sure what else she's in. Howard said he was thinking about how hot she must be with her lesbian lover. Howard said he wrote a book so they have a lot to talk about. Howard said Robin is a dear friend but they don't get together for dinner. Howard said Jackie must be busy as hell so he's not sure how he has time for dinner. Howard said the guys were trying to wrestle the microphone from him. Howard played that and Sal was yelling and barely able to speak. Sal said he fell down the stairs that night when he got home. Sal said at 5 in the morning that was 6 or 7 hours after the show. Sal said he doesn't know how he can fall down the stairs. Sal said it's bad but he doesn't really drink anymore. Howard said he's sure that the people there are his fans. Howard played a clip of a fan talking about how upset he was with Sal's behavior. He went in with the young guys like Sandler and Farley.

Jon said he'll thank Nik for it when Jason brings it up. Jason said he was standing behind him this morning and he could feel his anger as he was listening to some of the clips this morning. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jon is a star fucker and a hypocrite. He said it's about the intent and he thinks his intent was cool. Howard thanked Ralph and said he's a big i Phone 7 guy. Fred looked up Holland Taylor and she's 73 years old. Sal said he didn't drink at the last couple of Christmas parties. Howard said they sent them off to a bonding weekend and Farley came running in naked into his room. Norm said he shoved baby tomatoes up his ass with salad dressing on his head. Norm said Chris was at this resort with him and tells him he has to tell him something.