HOWEVER, there are a lot of lovely ladies out there who are aware that their need for contact with their guy comes from an anxious or needy place rather then an excited, assertive place.

They do not ridding themselves of uncomfortable feelings.

It also won’t be good for you in the long term because even if your guy is very responsive, you will begin to rely on contact and responsiveness from him to make yourself feel secure, rather then developing healthy emotional independence.

Functional Analytic Psychology (FAP) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) conceptualises motivation for behaviour as either Appetitive (moving towards something) or Aversive (moving away from something).

The theory is that if you allow yourself to be motivated by appetitive drives, you will find yourself more fulfilled and more able to sustain your behaviour then if you are constantly running from aversive stimuli.

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"Always waiting for the guy to initiate contact is annoying to most men," says Harold, 35.

"At some point you need to let him know you're interested by reaching out. If you are excited about connecting with him, showing him that he is on your mind is not a bad thing, it is flattering!At worst, he will give you the impression that he doesn’t want to have contact as much as you do.If this lack of availability or disinterest continues, then this is VERY good information for you.It may mean he wants something much less intense then you do.In this case, it is better you know sooner so you don’t waste your time playing games to sustain a relationship that is going to be essentially unfulfilling for you.